英语搞笑话剧——三顾茅庐.

1、Three visits to the cottage主要人物：诸葛亮、诸葛家仆人（朱不亮）、刘备、关羽、张飞、旁白（同时操作电脑）旁白：Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顾茅庐） is a story from one of the Four Great classical Chinese novelsthe Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and t

2、he symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actorsLiubei, who visited ZhuGeliangs thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei sincerity, helped the three brothersLiubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Sh

3、u Kindom. Now，lets go into the story.第一幕屋子中，诸葛亮在屋里走着，诸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty，猪不亮扫地，送水（营养快线）三兄弟上场，关羽（头巾），刘备（墨镜），张飞（不停打嗝）刘：饭后一支烟，赛过活神仙A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，张飞点烟，刘深吸一口，长舒一口气）刘：嗯？没点着En? It dosent burn on.张飞：凑合着吧，老师不让抽烟Sorry，we can only has this.We

4、cant smoke in the classroom!关羽：此番前来，定要邀请的卧龙先生We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang!张飞：必须的，老曹太欺负人了Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much.三人来到门前，石头剪子布刘备：According to our custom？关羽：OK.张飞：No problem.刘备三人进行石头剪子布，刘备输了，其余两人把刘备推到前面。刘备作出一幅英勇就义的姿态，（上海滩响起）刘备作按门铃状，（门铃声响起）。诸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.仆人：Heng!(哼)仆人

5、板着个脸到了门口，做了一个甩头的动作，并呼啦呼啦头发，然后深呼吸，放平稳，保持微笑。然后打开门，举了个躬。仆人：(发音a ni ha sai yao，中文意思：你好)刘备：Can you speak English?关羽：（紧接着刘备）Can you speak Chinese?张飞：（紧接着）Can you speak Japanese?刘备：（紧接着）Spanish?关羽：（紧接着）Congolese?张飞：（紧接着）Egyptian?仆人：（紧接着）Shut up! Who are you people?刘备：(摆个pose)Im Liubei.关羽：(也摆个pose)Im Guanyu

6、.张飞：(同样摆个pose，把关羽碰倒了)Im Sorry.刘备三人赶紧把仆人扶起来。猪不亮：你们怎么来的啊What do you three take to come here?张飞：骑马来的啊，做骑马状Riding a horse ,of course.猪不亮：那你们怎么骑马来的啊？So,How do you riding a horse?三人面面相觑，猪不亮关门刘备突然明白了，“money！”张飞关羽耸肩都没带钱，下台第二幕三兄弟上台，张飞关羽手提礼品关羽猥琐的说:这次应该可以了吧，上次也怨我们I think well manage it this time.张飞：啥啊，如果你不是拉着我

7、，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮状，老虎声音）What? If you dont pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat!刘备：行了，行了，我们来干啥来了稍息。立正。（张飞关羽照做）Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!Attention!刘备：都给我机灵点（张飞关羽点头答应）You three! Be clever this time!屋子中（英文歌，诸葛亮和猪不亮正喝酒，猪不亮哼着英语歌，他两个喝醉了）诸葛亮：MYGOD！上天你为什么这么惩罚我My God! Why do you pu

8、nish me?!猪不亮：老大别难过，班长杨超不也没过吗Dont be sad,my boss. As I know,our monitor doest pass the examination.诸葛亮：我的四级考试啊，开始哭What？our monitor doest pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed（换背景音乐，猪不亮跟着哭，门铃响，猪不亮醉醺醺的摇摇晃晃去开门）猪不亮：谁啊Whos this?张飞：收水费的I come here to charge the bill of electricity（开门，三人

9、一脸嬉笑）刘备：我们又来了，麻烦小弟通报一下We are here again,bother to notice your boss. （猪不亮四下环顾，把礼品接过来了）（屋子里传来悲伤的气息，张飞和关羽抹眼泪）张飞：怎么突然一阵感伤涌上心头（自言自语）I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart.关羽：请问卧龙先生在家吗，我们想见一下（SEE）Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please.猪不亮：吟诗，见与不见。（你见，或者不见我Its doesnt matter if y

10、ou see me or not我就在那里I am standing right there不悲不喜With no emotion你念，或者不念我Its doesnt matter if you miss me or not情就在那里The feeling is right there不来不去And it isnt going anywhere你爱或者不爱我Its doesnt matter）（猪不亮转身关门，站不稳）刘：What?！张飞：是不是家里死人了，下次再来吧Im afraid some-one important of him died here.Lets go. Maybe we

11、should come next time.关羽：希望死的不是诸葛亮Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang doest die（关羽，刘备打张飞，下台。）第三幕（诸葛亮和猪不亮玩三国杀，背景音乐，术语）（诸葛亮又赢了）猪不亮：老大你真NBYou are the man !诸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什么的，我打算过了年就去找刘备，找份工作Hum！Thats a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Beis corporation to find a job after Spring Festival.猪不亮：你想去刘备那里？What

12、? You said you wanna to go to Liu Beis company?诸葛亮：嗯，那里用不着英语En.Thats a good place in which I need not speak English.猪不亮：前几天他来过了，让我赶跑了But.uh, I drove him away a few days ago.门铃响。猪不亮：说来就来了Speak of the devil and he doth appear.（三兄弟，大跨步的走进来，诸葛亮一见到很激动）诸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（拥抱）你带我走吧Boss! I ached for you so much, pl

13、ease help me!刘备：镇定镇定，既然兄弟这么看得起我，那咱们就一起大干一场吧Be calm. Since you trust me so much, lets go and do it! （出发。）诸葛亮：大哥等等，那。那，一月多少钱啊Wait,wait.My boss, uh, how much will. I get. from you then.张飞：（恐吓状）兄弟之间不谈钱，谈钱多伤感情，（拎着诸葛亮就走）It hurts feelings when it comes to money!（猪不亮在后面拿着包袱，大喊）猪不亮：带上我吧，（走路（小沈阳状）Oh, Please take me away.闭幕。